Jessica's Book Thoughts

I have a book coming soon that I really don't know if I can get through. A friend of mine asked me if I could read something her sis-in-law wrote. It's main focus is about a woman with lung cancer. I was only told it was a romance.

My mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer 13 years ago. The diagnosis couldn't have came at a worse time. She was 7 months pregnant with my youngest sister. My sister was perfectly healthy when she arrived, but my mothers mental status didn't ever bounce back after delivering a child at almost 50 years of age. She was so depressed.  She decided not to treat the cancer and take it as a death sentence. 2 1/2 years later she changed her mind and ran to the doctor's office. Her diagnoses was devastating. She had let it go far too long. The cancer had progressed and was now categorized as stage 3b, it had gotten so large that it had busted through her uterine wall and was dangerously close to pinching off both her spinal cord and ureters. The tumor was equivalent in size to a 20 oz. soda bottle. Two weeks later she was admitted into the hospital with acute renal failure. She wasn't expected to ever make it out of the hospital but she did. In the end she actually beat the cancer. After the cancer was gone, she was even more miserable. She had so much pain from the damage the radiation had caused. She was in constant agony, it was the saddest thing I would ever see. I was wrong.

On the exact day of her fifth year anniversary for being cancer free we received another devastating diagnosis. They had found cancer again. This time it was in her lungs. It had also spread to her brain and  adrenal gland. She would not be coming back from this. She took the chemo treatments and lived for another 19 months. At the end of her battle with her illness, the cancer took a major toll on her brain. Her mind was clouded and she turned very aggressive and hateful. I remember standing in a parking lot with her while she screamed things like, "You Bitch. I will kill you when we get home!" If she would have been screaming these things at me, I would have understood why. She was screaming at my 7 year old little sister. That night my sister moved in with me. My mom also lived with me, but only on her good days. She died 3 years ago.

I don't think I can read a book about cancer. I don't know if I ever will be able to either. Last year I went as far as to buy and rate The Fault in Our Stars. I never read it, I just wanted people to quit suggesting it to me.